Robert Goulet Reads from "The Writings of Bart"

The late, acclaimed American singer and actor provided his golden voice to this funny radio commercial for "The Simpsons" TV series. Here's the spot and Walt's script.

“Robert Goulet,” the funny, Clio-Award-winning radio commercial titled after the singer himself, was written by Walt Jaschek, produced and directed by Paul Fey of Paul & Walt Wordwide, for Fox Television when The Simpsons was first launched into national syndication.

It is part of a marketing campaign considered a crucial element to the most successful launch of a TV show in syndication history. Script is below. But first: Ready to hear the spot? Great. And now: Robert Goulet...

Script

ANNOUNCER: And now, mister Robert Goulet reads from “The Writings of Bart,” the collected, after-school blackboard writings of young Bart Simpson. Mister Goulet.

MUSIC: Classical, dignified, under

ROBERT GOULET: I will not trade pants with others.

I will not do that thing with my tongue.

I will not Xerox my butt.

A burp is not an answer.

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.

I will not eat things for money.

I will not bring sheep to class.

I will not instigate revolution.

My name is not Doctor Death.

ANNOUNCER: To experience all of Bart’s after-school blackboard writings, watch every classic episode of The Simpsons.

ROBERT GOULET: I will not call the principal, “Spud Head.”

ANNOUNCER: The Simpsons. Now five times a week.

MUSIC: Up and out

© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved.

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